Miigwetch

My silence is not tell-tale of how I feel,
My gratitude sometimes hides behind a wall of fear.
I don't have resistance to working these things out with you,
It's worth the discomfort for the growth that ensues.

My inadequacy to completely show,
My appreciation for all that you are,
May hopefully be overthrown,
by this little tune and it's few short bars...

I think it's high time for these feelings of lack,
To be overgrown with abundance,
with blossoms of opportunities not passed by,
For nothing will ever change if I don't ever try...

To make mistakes knowing that I'll fail,
Knowing that failing don't define who I am,
Eloquence is often illusive to me,
But you inspire me, you try for me the least I can do is speak...

I want to grow with you and feed you when your fuel is low,
be your fire when your bones are cold,
Sit and knit with you when we're getting old,
Silence is beauty but words are like gold so...

The nomadic way runs deep within my soul,
but you give me a reason to call some place a home,
It's you, you keep the home fires a-burn,
So I have something to return to...

I want to dedicate to you my poetry,
Wish I could say it as good as Cohen, but this is me,
...Not really knowing, how to say...
Well here I am, I'm trying to say,
Sometimes I just don't know how to say...

...Thank You.

1+1=1

I don't really feel the need to explain,
there's no compulsion to complain,
just to ask for some support...
My heart is tender and sore.

I am grieving and praising,
living and breathing,
dying and shedding... layers of skin.
Like snake medicine, my exoskeleton,
giving way the hard shell, to let the draft in.


My soft flesh revealed, calloused layers peeled back,
no longer conceal, this feeling of lack.
Realizing the door that once swung open wide,
is no longer ajar, and our time has expired.

Grief touches my soul
and flows out through the holes in the stories we told
and the cracks and the folds.
Words felt from inside are blocked by doubt,
refusing to happen upon a way out.

And maybe your right, poetry does come too late,
past due for the time when it could have been stated,
the rawness I feel, statements that reveal,
the issues which made us turn on our heel.
A pivoted foot, not sure where to stand,
in this intimate land, a web weaved strand by strand.

So in letting this lie,
letting the desert be dry,
leaving the blue in the sky,
letting the tear cry,
in allowing to be what it is that exists,
I grieve for what's lost,
and praise what is missed....

to notice when you're not around...

Oh how I wish I could lay with you under the stars,

and count how far it is from here to Mars.

How many countless years have we lay just thus?

oh my, how long it is from "me" to "us"...

And how the tide will sway and play and pray,

and toss a boulder into sand in just the time it takes to blink an eye within a day.

Your presence in my mind is but a tickle and a sigh,

oh that I long to whisk myself away...

Adieu

This stillness is like air when I'm drowning in doubt
Finally I inhale and feel capable again.
Forgetting to remember is an exercise in,
How long I can hold my breath before I believe I'm a fish.

Every word is inadequate when you've got nothing to say
About anything that's tangible before it passes away.
Like what chords to play on my funeral march,
The procession of the equinox...

Elders as they come to fade,
Memories brimmed with grief & praise.
It flows out through the holes of the stories we told
& what's left it collects in the cracks and the folds.

So this stillness is air when I'm drowning.
Gently tilling the fair ground around me.
And when I remember to water & feed,
I give thanks for the meal and then harvest the seeds.

But In the end I'm to leave... traceless.
Though the tools I collect are not wasted,
For they carry me through, to another ground zero
repeating, and fleeting, again.

So in letting you lie, letting the desert be dry
Leaving the blue in the sky, letting the tears cry.
In allowing to be what it is that exists,
I grieve what is lost and praise what is missed.

This stillness is like air when I'm drowning in doubt
Finally I inhale and feel capable again
Forgetting to remember is an exercise in,
How long I can hold my breath before I believe I'm a fish.

Strength?

My Animus is in control,
Where is the gentle, the soft, the secret, the still...?
Buried in the process of doing instead of just being...
Tonight I watched a foot-long earth worm inch it's way across the pavement.
I picked it up and put in back amongst the plants and the soil,
Just like I used to when I was nine.
Because it mattered...

Forgive

``Forgiveness...

is the scent
that the orchid leaves
on the soul
of the shoe
that crushes it.``

Halifax

Road dreams
Sewed seams
Unfrozen streams
And sun beams
Dwell the coast
Cloud blotted theme
Challenge me
My self-esteem
Raise the bar
Acquiesce to glee
Guided by
Polar extremes
That rein supreme
'Til I redeem
And realign
In symmetry.....

Anattā

Communication through sensations
Not yet tuned up where I feel the vibrations
of every plant and tree
or every thought arising in me
But working graciously
Toward a goal that's yet to be
However hard to see
Seeking
Freedom
In living wisdom
Purity of mind
Infinite loving kindness
To reach a time
Where I am timeless...
I am mind-less...
And I am I'm-less...

Observation

Planet Earth, our training ground, experiential school.
Sight, taste, smell, sound... mind controlling tools.
We're products of conditioning, focused regurgitation,
From birth until our death we are, a process of elimination.
Each life a progress station...
Each death a reincarnation...

Once more we seek outside ourselves, feeding our happiness,
Forgetting deep inside our flesh, is where we gain experience.
By penetrating barriers of "unconscious" communication,
And permeating the body with it's clarifying sensations.
Teaching us to be patient...
To work our own salvation...

Developing the faculty to truly feel inside,
We eradicate uncertainties of flying blind.
Like trying to read braille when we're desensitized,
Identifying with thought, we hinder mastery of mind.
Outside the constructs of time...
There's no I, no Me, no Mine...

Existence is impermanence, fundamental cause/effect.
Our essence being ignorance, combined Anima and Animus.
In detachment from the minds eye, we truly become free,
Residing in the heart-space, and understanding what that means.
For we are not our thoughts...
We are,

The space,

That lies,

In between...

Recognition

And now for some apologies...
I'm sorry for blaming you
for what was always in me.
Sorry for thinking that you
could cause my miseries,
for planting bitter Neem,
and expecting sweet fruit trees...
I'm sorry for the craving
of your familiarity.
For lacking in expression,
and expecting telepathy.
Sorry for forgetting
to feel subtle frequency's.
For remaining unbalanced,
losing equanimity.
'Cause honestly it's hard to ease
these jealousy's, a mad disease.
Yet stabilizing smilingly,
emotions of humanity.
And with sensational glory,
accepting the reality,
creating beautiful stories,
and freeing Dharmic poetry.
For now in slowing down to breath,
I feel more able to release,
while remembering the memories.
And for the history,
I thank thee...

Overwhelmed...

How can we expect to come into better times,
When our idea of waste management is "out of sight out of mind"...
How will we ever clean the air we breath,
If we continue to wipe our asses with fallen trees...
Why do I think the guitar will sing,
If I don't get up to pluck the strings...
How can I ever say what I feel,
When the words that I speak can never be REAL...
How can I describe what it is that's indescribable??

Isollae

Salty streaked faces,
Melancholy embraces,
Multi-Bus stations,
Deepening the abrasions.
Like a final scenic movie,
Minus dramatic music,
Now slightly amusing,
Married without a ring.
Solidarity?
Solitary?
Unity for freedom?
One and One make One!
My Lack of speed
Not to be taken,
For a lack of motivation.
Though perhaps guiltily complacent,
For lack of communication.
Were my wishes restrictions?
Ok, time for reflections.
Not enough to offer?
No, that's a Bull-Filled rectum!
But melancholy whisky nights,
Breed melancholy bus rides,
Hastily decided,
Now due to be arriving.
Still so much love!
What can I say?
Sorry for not giving gifts
Without expectations.
I knew the whole time,
You'd beat to your own rhyme,
But there's always room for harmonies,
Within the melodies.
Are you interested in what I'm sayin'?
Even when I'm not,
I listen to what your playin',
Respect it's your opinion,
Watch your lips moving...
Quietly I seek subtly,
But my mind you cannot read,
And to ask that may be meek,
Expressions what I need.
Lost myself again I guess,
Didn't rise to the test.
Maybe gave to much in haste,
Didn't try my best.
"Breaking up is hard to do"
That's what I read in the news,
As I hustled on this cruse,
Wet tears, short fuse.
And sadness wants to hide,
Behind a bitterness facade.
Pain wants to remain,
Behind a curtained numb evasion.
Fucking trying not to place blame,
Take on my share of this game,
See the good in this situation,
Independence...
Time...
Sensations...

Dis-ease

A nations frustration,
Diastolic hesitation,
Essential fatty acids?
Or hard-wired operation?
Intravenous penetration,
By therapeutic kelation.
Required external aid,
Is conditioned resignation.
Toxin interaction
With every muscle contraction.
Idiopathic diagnosis
For elevated prolactin.
Thyroid hypo-action,
Weight gain reaction.
Retinitis Pigmentosa,
Or a chronicle back pain.
Souls nourishing wisdom,
Locked in a physical prison,
Channeled vibrations are lost,
Through theoretical "isms".
Allopathic decisions,
Treat only symptoms arisen,
But an equanimous mind,
Creates a deeper incision...

Prayer

Guelph city central,
Don't need a pay roll.
Follow your feet
to the magnetic beat flow.
No streets closed,
Fire in the hole,
Bounding over bridges
Stop.
Hand shake toll.
Random pocket trade.
Dread brother soul inlaid.
Hangin in the shade,
"A" grade cards played.
Connecting worlds,
Under pigeon swirls.
Please my prayers,
Universe unfurl.
Like I know you can,
Hand one in hand.
Link three channels,
No judgment panels.
Staring in the eyes
Of blue beautiful mammals.
Please unite,
Cause times are tight,
And turn my darkness into light...

Lachute - Pullin' Teeth

Recovering in the sun,

Slits in my gums,

Stitched up mouth,

Tooth on the run.

Shakin' like a tremour,

Like dogs scared of weather,

Loosening, Derooting,

Tryin' to keep it togehter.

Take care of yourself,

& watch your health,

Shamanistic, Balistic,

Stop polluting the well.

Cause dependencey means

We can't be free.

Brace yourself,

We're pullin' teeth.

Victoria-Grove - April 2006

Birch seeds fallen on concrete.
Can't grow through the cracks of the density,
Fir trees trapped,
& burts bees on my cracked lips.
Chapped spirits.
We stroll on asphalt faded soles.
A familiar dream, manicured to the seam,
Perfectly cut and clean.
Can't eat ornamental food it's too crude
With pesticides they hide the truth,
So we believe it not fit to consume.
And who are you to tell me what to do?
Your judgments make you the fool.
"Preserving" trees in padlocked schools,
Where no-one dares to break the rules.
Cause advertisements work,
Those jerks are cruel.
Manipulate our stool, into toxic pools,
Of brown harbor jewels.
Feed me feed me, please,
I need to drown my fears,
In a sugar coated promise of utopian years..... and yet....
With every step I take away,
I feel the vibe change,
Rearrange.
Left behind the mange,
Of things that make me crazy.
Of places lost and hazy.
The city slowly phases out,
Mental drought,
Confused and doubtful,
Morphing into old growth camp pull.
A force undeniable.
Cedar trees call me, to celebrate the victory.
No more concrete.
A "lot" for the elite.
Penetrate no more, infiltrating force,
Cause here birch seeds fall on fertile soil,
And the elixer of life doesn't have to be boiled...

Puppets - March 2006

So in this age, it seems apathy reigns,
As all the rest, I feel I'm just the same.
A bleating lamb, to follow in the pack,
Still blending in although I may be black.

And when your near, I judge myself so much,
And then I fear, my input is of no use...

Now for a while, I felt I'd broke away,
Eating of the sweet grass, instead of hay.
But once a look around, will yet reveal,
This shackled ball, and chain around my heel.

I could read and memorize, until my eyes fall out,
But this time, it's the doing that it's all about...

And led we are, by puppets on a string,
To the belly of a wolf, by our next of kin.
And one attempt, at living on the edge,
Will send these shepherds, into a fit of rage.

Box em' in beat em' down, put em' in a cage,
Any necessary means, whatever it takes to save face...

It's in movement cross the land, where I feel most real,
But it seems the only way out, is to stand still.
Up down back and forth, I could run away forever,
I guess the only thing to do, is come to center.

Still when your near, I judge myself so much,
But now I know, my fears are of no use...

Manifestation Plantation - April 2005

Manifestation Plantation,
Wanna take a vacation,
Into uncharted waters,
Take a hit of this blodder.
Fill up your boots,
Walk in your neighbours shoes.
Split side...
Don't hide...
Now gimme the news.
Are we going to war?
Have we gone too far?
Mushrooms...
More fumes...
Commin from your new car.
& our standard of livin',
Means we ought to be givin',
Got a lot...
So hot...
Now what are we doing?
Well I'm down on my knees,
Tryin' to save the trees,
But these official bastards,
Keep givin' us hastles.
So we're blockading the future,
Cause to me it looks putred,
Take it back...
Make a stand ...
Cause we're livin' like fugitives.
Now this air in our lungs,
Like takin' hits from a bong,
Full of smoke...
Take a toke...
We need food not bombs.
& our kids will be hard pressed,
To take a clean breath,
& these GMO fields,
Like corperate fishing reels.
Where their raking in cash,
Locked in a secret stash,
Never share...
Don't dare...
Their afraid of the crash.
But the crop never stops,
You'll shop til' you drop,
Think your hot on the top,
Of your 80 foot yact.
They're privitising the lakes,
Like they do to the land,
& thier Bottleing water,
Like LSD in a can.
Then they mark up the price,
Keep the poor in a vice,
Now's the day...
Make em pay...
Now heed our advice.
Gotta work for the boss,
Cause now life has a cost,
So kiss your ego goodbye,
Take on a new kinda high,
I'm just tryin to get through,
Wish they could see this view,
Nothing left...
Take a breath...
On no their taxing that too!
So manifest what you like,
Gia needs to take flight,
We're gonna put up a fight,
Until you can see the light.
& we're reclaiming the streets,
Cause every tree has it's rights,
Take it back!
Make a stand!
I wanna live WITH the land!

Max - March 25 2005

So he spiraled into life,
Alone, with eyes closed,
Now he spirals back to death
Third eye, and reborn.
Cause these woods are dangerous,
We're putin' highways through forests.
SUV's and trucks ignore us,
And Death to destroy us.
Unnessesary endings, and a sadness livin'
Good Friday, Full Moon, and your Television...
While cars are killin friends,
You still sit in indecision.
Standing over lifeless bodies
Reassessing my position.
The root system of these games,
Run deep and are entangled,
In silent cries and deep sighs,
That come from every angle.
We walk along the concrete,
With two legs instead of eight.
But oh what tangled webs we weave,
Coincidence...? Or Fated...?

Cathedral Grove - March 2005

Out here...
The plants they breathe,
We feel their plea,
Their calls we heed.
We set them free,
To grow as beasts,
The towering trees,
In canopy's,
Of evergreen leaves,
Not toiletries.
The drums release,
The fire heal and yields,
New seeds on stump fields.
Way out here,
The plants are free,
So let them be,
And fall asleep at peace,
But please!
Keep it clean,
So we can keep breathin',
Steeping our tea,
Makin' ends meet,
Playin' beats,
What a treat,
What a fleet,
What a bunch of hippies...

Full Circle - March 2005

Do you look at me now with lust, or disgust?
Mistrust? You might, you must.
Cause wasn't love lost?
In the midnight minds, the shadowy kind,
Now I find we're living like mimes,
The only contact is through the eyes.
Solitary nights awake and not right,
Wondering how many times the words were held tight.
See from where I stand it looks a lot like,
You had one foot out the door not ready to fight,
Cause you think you'll give up your rights,
Compromise sound for sight.
& you were ready to go continue the flow,
From hot to cold but had intentions of gold.
And what have we learned now?
The tables have turned now.
From cold to hot to find your god,
Yet still I can yearn for that which has burned,
The truth is stretched have we come full circle yet?
Or am I in debt?
On who's shoulders does it rest?
The fate of the world, a cyclical curl,
A spiral in motion or enlightened notion,
Continues to grow in the hear and now,
We reap what we sow remembering how,
To take a chance, make a wider stance,
Maybe move away, closer than the doorway,
Come in & play,
I mean you don't have to stay,
It's ok...
You can leave when you want to,
Cause I'm not stoppin you,
You wanna find truth baby do what you gotta do.
I love you.
And that's alright.
Cause like a toss of dice,
You came into my life,
And gave me flight.
Like a falcon dive, or tip of the scale,
The hammer head hit's the top of the nail,
Cause life...
It goes on and I grow strong,
Enough to write this song,
And live along side of you,
And not hide the truth.
Still the question remains simple and plain,
I wanna know what do you see when your looking at me?
Cause I refuse to believe you fell out of love with me,
If that's the case it wasn't love in the first place.
Compromise smell for taste.
A warm embrace in haste,
And that look on your face,
That makes my heart race.
The potential is there,
If you have the will to care,
Or do you dare?
Compassionate time to share,
Your mind is yours to bear I know....
Some places there you don't want me to go.
So if you wanna be alone just let me know and I'll go,
Sometimes I wanna go home anyway but I'll stay,
To face my ghosts,
A skeletal maze.
Until the circle is closed,
Don't want to run away.
In cylicibal haze,
Lost and crazed in a daze.
So give me the credit I'm due,
Just wanted to be with you.
And now you gotta tell me,
What the hell do you see,
When your looking my way,
Or when our eyes meet...

Freedom of speach - January 2005

Permission to speak freely please...
Don't leave.
I'm wrapped in tears, and burning ears
That never hear.
My mind's too loud, sirens sound.
Poetry in motion, With hardly a bound...
Ravens fly by, lets just get high,
Watch the fire some more,
And roll in my sorrow.
So maybe tomorrow, the winds will die,
The ocean sighs, as we drift on this island.
The minds eye, never open wide.
Vibrations. Temptations. Precipitation.
Thoughts never ending
On this permanent vaccation.
Swirlin round, without a sound
Never stayin to be heard.
Adding to the furry,
Frustration. Anticipation.
Is it too late now?
Aching, taking my time,
Skating, on thin ice,
Trapped in a vice,
Permission to speak freely,
I need some healing,
Need to start feeling.
Need to keep dealin out the
Cards that got me reelin.
Live in the now,
Try not to be proud,
Can't remember how,
Forgetting to allow,
To speak free...

Hitchin' Ditty - July 2004

Where you goin' to?
And can I join you?
I don't take up too much room
Just tryin' to get to where I'm goin'
I'm just passin' through
I got my best friend at my heel
Got my guitar in tow
Gotta go with how I feel...

Vancouver River - November 2004

We block this river off from taking it's course
We re-route it and pollute it, it wasn't mine or yours
We chew it up, spit it out,
Abuse it and loose it...
Can't get enough land,
Hold it in our hands,
Now this river belongs to man.
I wanna go to a place that's untouched,
It's to much.
Take this journey to a lush,
Green forest, wild horses,
Fittin' in with the forces,
Of nature, zero hatred.
Livin' on our own course,
Unlike this river, now forced,
To flow against the grain,
Never to be the same,
And yearning to return,
To the state from whence it came...

Summer School - September 2004

Rainy days
In how many ways
Did we breathe and wonder
Something to ponder
So many nights of restless slumber
Guitar chipped
Dry lips
Silent cries
Knowing eyes
Lest we forget
Our mystery
Or heaven spent in a Beech tree...

My Song - Febuary 2004

Self inflicted Obligation,
Creates unwanted hesitation,
Undoubtedly resulting,
In this frustration.
Heading down the causeway,
Of constellations.
Can't wait to be patiently,
Waiting in train stations,
Sitting on the curb and smiling,
At passing strangers.
And stranger they get,
As the ones that I've met,
Roll out of sight,
Across expanses of land,
With my guitar in my hand,
That's where I'll stand.
And play for the streets,
And every bystander I meet,
Will seemingly stride to the beat,
To the rhythm of my heart,
To the rhythm of my guitar,
To the rhythm that is,
Life and death and life and death and life and death...
Until it takes away my breath.
And I realize,
That even now,
The course is mapped out.
My role is without a doubt,
Meant to be played now...
In full...
In full...
Every step I take,
Brings me closer to the right place,
Have faith in the day,
Have faith in the hour,
In the hear and the now.
This is my choice.
This is my voice.
I live inside of my chaotic emotions,
And try to come clean,
Try to be free,
And try to be me...

Healthy Vitality - July 2003

Healthy vitality,Originality,
Helpin' to bridge a little gap in me,
Right down to the core of my, Being,
And together with the rest of my, Family,
We be playin' now with creativity,
Creatin' all the faces of the music scene.
We put the brush to the wall,
And make it happen,
Everybody's jumpin,
& Snapity snappin'...

We gotta make a call, do what you will,
With cans of aerosol and a vitamin pill.
We got Monty Hall and Laura Casey,
Joey Taylor's doin' somethin' spacey.
Gettin' a thrill from this mural painting,
I never thought I'd see the day,
My heart is racing...

Jump into this face and just fucking do it,
Brush to the wall and get your body movin'.
We got some awesome talent,
And some helpful hands,
We got Brian doin' Marley and Stan the man!
We got all the time, in the world,
That's why I'm writin' these rhymes,
In my room...

Thinkin' about the faces of the music scene,
Cause we are layin' the foundation,
For the artist zine.
And I'm rhymin' a rhyme and boppin' in time,
Never livin' a lie, never gonna die!

Helpin' to break into a better frame of mind,
And now you just try, to bring me down,
Cause I'm on cloud nine, in this St. John's town.
Open a can of originality,
Bridgin' a gap in me,
Healthy Vitality...

Spinners - 2002

Relationships untangled web,
Liquid beads on a single thread,
That ventures out until it's end,
And tangles up but once again.
To toss away and start a new,
Replacing drops of morning dew,
To add upon forgotten waves,
Always there to see it through.
Paths will cross and take their toll,
Forever hills and valleys roll,
When your outside looking in,
The webs are tangled once again.
Colors, shapes, and tones of skin,
Depth of feeling from within,
To help the spinner form it's silk,
And build a castle out of string.